about dreamy meows

Chapter 9 [SURE AS HELL DIDN'T SEE THAT ONE COMING] p. 135
borrowing Bella for the weekends and then returning her monday morning like a rental movie? so messed up.

so tempting.

I didn't want to consider, didn't want to imagine, but the images came anyway. I'd fantasised about Bella that way too many times. back when there was still a possibility of us, and then long after, it was clear that the fantasies would only leave the festering sores, because there was no possibility, non at all.

I hadn't been able to stop myself then, I couldn't stop myself now. Bella in my arms, Bella sighing my name.

the first time I read the book... I don't remember reading this part... perhaps it was, 'cause at the moment I was more amused about the idea of Bella having puppies (“If it's a child she wants, she can have it. She can have half a dozen babies. Anything she wants.” He paused for one beat. “She can have puppies, if that's what it takes.”) that I didn't notice this part. perhaps it was because my love for Jake was just starting, and I didn't wanted to picture him fantasising about Bella, perhaps it was that the guy's voice in this book was so amazing that I couldn't help but notice... but this part... it had a weird something that made me react.

at first, it was something like... like the stupid teenager embarrassment when you see a sex scene in a movie with your parents, I remember that feeling, I think it was then when I stopped watching those kind of movies with mine. then I laughed at myself, like I always do, and thought about it for a sec, what was it about this part that made me feel so... so weird? it couldn't be the teenager embarrassment, not at this age, not with my life. and I've read worse things than that.

at the end, the only thing that made a little sense was, that I had considered this like children's books, don't know how, if Bella tries to rape Edward form book 1, and the honey moon scenes aren't that childish either... but, it had that Harry Potteresc feeling somehow. but, the way Jake talks about it (I didn't want to see this, didn't want to think about this. I didn't want to imagine him inside her) don't know, that was what made me react... I guess this isn't a book for kids... Lola!! you shouldn't be reading this!! ¬¬ xDD

anyway, it's not really important, is just that, that was the first time that I went back and listened a part of the book more than once.

in other non Twilight topics, I had the strangest dream yesterday.

I was in some kind of nightclub with Blair, I know, wtf?! to start with, Blair would never go to a place like that, but, well, it was night and we had to go back to her place, but she was drunk, so, we had to go to he aunt's place so her parents wouldn't notice. we were watching some kind of children tv show, like Sesame Street, or something like that. then, she was in a hurry, 'cause we had to get to our graduation ceremony in a couple of hours, and we didn't had our clothes there. I tried to go home then, but I was wearing my pjs, the dress I had worn in the nightclub was with my robe and the rest of my stuff, and someone had taken those away... so I had to borrow some of the aunt's clothes so i could go change.

I started walking and ended up in Lola's place, which was good... don't know why. so I went in, even though I still had to hurry and get clothes to go to the graduation. but... this is the weird part, my aunt Ruth was there! in the living room thingie on the second floor, and she was painting, in Himura's room was Lord Cookie, with his computer, finishing a video, for a CocaCola contest... it was a really weird video... then Lola came and told me that I had to hurry, so I went with my aunt Ruth for help, she gave me clothes and a really weird pair of yellow shoes...

and off I went, to my graduation, with no time left, but, of course, I was going to be in time, 'cause I was running on the roofs, with Jake (Jake in a suit! *^*) and then I woke up...

what do you think, mrs. psychologist?

xoxo,
I should be studying physics girl

[the image is just some random image I found on the net]