4.3.09

about.

I saw the frog today... it was... strange, awkward, it was him, all of him, he's strange, he's awkward, he's he... I don't know

being with him... it was a world of sensations, so long forgotten, it was lust, desire... it was sadness, anger, concern. it was all him, all he is, all he's always been for me. I didn't felt that weird sensation I always felt when I met him, there were no butterflies, no black hole in the stomach, there was just, lust, more than desire, there was just lust, lust and a lot of concern about him. what's wrong with me?! he's all messed up and the only thing I feel for him is lust?! it was a weird sensation, I just, wanted to hold him, to make sure he was going to be ok, but, I couldn't help but touch his arms, his oh so perfect arms, not even all the months away could destroy that. ah, my weird fetish with the arms... don't know where that came from, one day I just, started admiring the arms, and the hands, and his hands are perfect too.

I don't know, I feel so weird, so... in other world, it's so strange.

sometimes he looked at me, like before, sometimes he looked just like he was looking a wall. but, he's always been like that. he said some things that made me wonder if he cared, sometimes it was obvious that he didn't... it's not like, like I wanted to be with him again, it's not that, I couldn't keep another relationship like the one we had, it was exhausting, but, I'd like to see him, some times... gosh, I don't even know what I'm saying. I can't read, I can't watch tv, I'm just staring at the walls, wondering...

God, I need help

1 comentario:

  1. i hate empety looks in people we care!!! i had hapenned to me really, Voldy never had that look with me... Wolf sometimes looks at me like he is watching through me... it´s kind of sad...

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